Another year has passed since we were told Avery had 1 st relapsed. It's hard to imagine that it's been a full year. It was a hard year...but one we are grateful to have had. But here we are again...faced with the same devastating prognosis and trying our best to live every moment together to the fullest.
As we sat down to eat this afternoon with family, we could have been almost normal...kids screaming, asking for seconds, baby crying while one of us scarfes down food to switch spots with the mom...lots of stuffing and plans being made for Christmas. Oh what I wouldn't give to have moments like those everyday.
Fear is creeping in big time as we count down the days until her MRI next week. Did they grow? Is it getting worse? Is she in pain? What do we do now? How do we make every minute count? Answers don't come and the anxiety continues to mount. So for now, we try our best to not put off the plans we want to do and to take advantage of what we have now. What would you do if you were dying? How different would we behave if someone had given us a deadline? Isn't it funny to think that each of us is dying...it's just a matter of when. If someone told us the age in which your body would give out-- would that change the way you live now? Its inevitable I know but it's just not right for her to go before me and we are having a hard time dealing with it all.
So as you drift to sleep this afternoon (thank you turkey) I hope you have a chance to think about that...what would we do differently? What would we do better? Worry less about all the trivial things and spend the moments I can hugging, kissing and capturing the very best moments of her life...That's what we are doing.