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Thursday, November 24, 2011

Thankful

Another year has passed since we were told Avery had 1 st relapsed. It's hard to imagine that it's been a full year. It was a hard year...but one we are grateful to have had. But here we are again...faced with the same devastating prognosis and trying our best to live every moment together to the fullest.
As we sat down to eat this afternoon with family, we could have been almost normal...kids screaming, asking for seconds, baby crying while one of us scarfes down food to switch spots with the mom...lots of stuffing and plans being made for Christmas. Oh what I wouldn't give to have moments like those everyday.
Fear is creeping in big time as we count down the days until her MRI next week. Did they grow? Is it getting worse? Is she in pain? What do we do now? How do we make every minute count? Answers don't come and the anxiety continues to mount. So for now, we try our best to not put off the plans we want to do and to take advantage of what we have now. What would you do if you were dying? How different would we behave if someone had given us a deadline? Isn't it funny to think that each of us is dying...it's just a matter of when. If someone told us the age in which your body would give out-- would that change the way you live now? Its inevitable I know but it's just not right for her to go before me and we are having a hard time dealing with it all.
So as you drift to sleep this afternoon (thank you turkey) I hope you have a chance to think about that...what would we do differently? What would we do better? Worry less about all the trivial things and spend the moments I can hugging, kissing and capturing the very best moments of her life...That's what we are doing.

Jenn

5 comments:

  1. Hope you had a wonderful Thanksgiving.I love the way you wrote this entry. Makes you really think about life. Give miss avery lots of hugs and kisses from us. We love y'all!!
    Brandi

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  2. All I can think about is Avery. She is in my thoughts and prays constantly. Sometimes I just stop to say a little prayer for her and both of you. You and Jeremy are the best ever parents. You love her, hug her, kiss her, laugh with her and play with her. That is probably what she wants most. She has the most infectuous laugh and I think of that often. Your post does put life in perspective. And I thank God each day that He blessed her to the two of you. Hope your Thanksgiving was WONDERFUL and prayers for next week. We love you all. Sharon

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  3. My prayers and thoughts are with Avery and your family. It is truly heartbreaking to think of this experience that you are going through. Each moment you have with Avery is a precious gift and the battle isn't over yet so try not to think of the future because we do not know what that is yet. God hears our prayers he knows our suffering,just know that we are never alone and if you need strength and answers, he will listen.

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  4. I hear ya! What I wouldn't give to have a husband & a family....but for now I guess I'm just to hang out with & watch others with their husbands & families! Some day though! =)

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  5. Love and prayers to all of you. God bless.

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