Count Down Continues....Scanxiety Ahead.

After a weekend filled with lots and lots of cousins (1st and 2nd) and green snot...we have transitioned to the countdown phase a Cancer family endures the weeks leading up to the scans.  While this will forever be a part of who we are, it doesn't make it any easier.  Whether its every few weeks, months or even a year it will always be one of the hardest aspects of this road.  The waiting, the praying, the dreading, the hoping, the preparing, the crying, the pleading and the heartache are all part of the process that none of us should ever have to go through.  Amazingly enough, we get through the scans with either a pat on the back -- safe for now -- or a new plan...a new fight.  A year ago we made it through with a new plan.  One we never expected to be on that early in the fight, but one that we nonetheless started and a year later are still working on.  Its hard to think that 12 months ago we started yet again, a new chemo regimen.  One that we hoped would buy us some time, allow us to create some memories.  It worked and here we are with 12 more months of sweet memories -- not all as pleasant as one would like, but ones I wouldn't give up for the world.  Once again we've been challenged and pushed, and we've made it to the other side.

This scan will be the toughest one yet.  When Avery relapsed last fall, it was 3 months after treatment ended.  (even though technically she was still on a maintenance chemo)  This time we are 4 months off of treatment.  You can see the relevance of this scan and the panic attacks that Jeremy and I are having on a daily basis at this point.  While the last 3 months have been a fabulous relief on us, allowing us to bury our heads in the sand and pretend that our normal....was well, the norm, it's time for us to jump back into our reality.  Cancer is part of who we are as a family and something that will forever rear its ugly head and be a killjoy for us periodically.  It's not going away no matter how good she looks, talks, walks, thinks, etc.  It will always be there in the corner, threatening to jump out in front of us when you least expect it. BAM!  Welcome to being a Cancer Parent.

So while Avery continues on in her wild and crazy ways of being a toddler...Jeremy and I will be excusing ourselves at regular intervals to freak out for a few minutes alone.  Your jobs people,  is to pray - HARD and OFTEN - that October 3rd ends in a sense of relief, a pat on the back, and another 3 months of our heads in the sand....

with our gratitude,

Jenn

Green Boogers

For nearly 20 months now Jeremy and I have managed to avoid the ugly green boogies that so often are found streaming from the nostrils of the uncaring toddler...Today our reign ends.  Avery had a tough night last night that included some congestion, a lot of tossing and turning and a little bit of a fever.  For once, we didn't rush her to the hospital for admitance followed by at least 3 days of antibiotics and a negative blood culture.  We took the street that most of you take every time the boogeis show up.  TYLENOL.

While this was normal for once, something we've been craving for so long...I can't help but feeling a little guilty that I didn't call  Childrens Mercy just to be safe.  Technically she still has a line...which could mean an infection could have gotten in there...and a fever masked by Tylenol is the only symptom for a full blown blood infection.  So, if you get a chance - specific prayers that we made the right call would be great.  Selfish for us and her -- we really didn't want to ensue in the circus of a 1 am phone chase with the nurse on call, followed by an unnecessary admit to the hospital for 3 days, followed by a round of good ol C Diff.  Especially if the only reason she has green boogers is cause we took her to the circus and let her be a normal, germ infested kiddo for one night. 

I'm the only parent in that entire building that didn't leave with a $12 bag of Cotton Candy and a $19 stuffed animal - -don't ask me how, but she said  "no" when asked.  Smart kid...or really Smart Kid and she's choosing the time and place to throw a really really really big tantrum that ends in a really expensive toy?  Good Lord -- I probably just jinxed myself. 

Jenn

Iowa vs Iowa State Game

Jeremy and I have supported the Cyclones for the last 12 years - regardless of their abilities.  The most important game of the season is always the rival game against the Hawkeyes and it brings out the best in our friends here in Kansas City.  We started a tradition 5-6 years ago watching the game at various houses and sporting our red and gold/ black and gold gear.  It's hard to believe that we've been doing this for that long....but I noticed this year that we get better at this coordinating the event.  And the older we get, the better the food becomes...In the beginning it was about the amount of beer and chips that we could muster.  Now, it's about coordinating the meal, making sure the best appetizers are available, and now of course - making sure we've given thought to kids and their entertainment.  Growing up can sure be surprising sometimes...

Avery was consoling our littlest Hawkeye over his triple OT loss to the Cyclones...someday they might be married and this will make a fantastic wedding video picture.

 
Count Down to Clean Scans....22 days to go...