It's hard to believe another 6 months has passed already, although the fall/holiday festivities always seem to fly by so quickly. In just a few days, our little fighter will be celebrating her 7th birthday and hopefully another stable MRI report.
One of Avery's favorite things to do is watch old videos of herself on her iPod. The other day she showed me one of her coming down the stairs at the house. It was a simple video-I had asked her to put on socks and a sweater all by herself and she came downstairs having done so (although the cardigan was on backwards). As she comes down the stairs she is telling me about it and then gets distracted by seeing her helmet on the table. Her speech is slower and less pronounced and it's obvious she has hearing issues as her pronunciation for "helmet" comes out something like hemu. The video honestly left me speechless for a few seconds. I had to stop and breathe, before responding with the appropriate, high pitched "oh look at you baby girl!! Look how little you were!" That I know she was looking for. How could that have been 2 and a half years ago? It really put into perspective how far she has come these last few years. Something I tend to forget as she struggles to write her letters and memorize her sight words and use the restroom.
She loves those pictures and videos of herself and for the first time I think it hit me that she is proud of herself for getting so big...something I never realized. As we make our way down to Memphis today, I find that gnawing feeling of scanxiety return and the dread that the trip always brings. This will be the longest we have gone between scans and although she is asymtomatic and we have no reason to expect anything but a stable report, I can't shake the fact that cancer follows no path, no rules, no predictable state and can rear its ugly head at anytime. The last few months we have watched many families say goodbye to their warriors or strap on the gloves to fight the beast a second or third time. So we wait with bated breaths for our scan and results on Tuesday...prayers for stability would be so appreciated...
Jenn
